The building lit up in flames, the walls came torching down. I ran through the halls avoiding the debris from hitting my head. Everything that could’ve gone wrong, both in and out of my control, went wrong. There was no time to allow tears from taking the spotlight, just continuous running down this endless, flaming hallway, looking left and right at the chaos. I looked up, there was this floating light. Time slowed down, the fire slowed down, it became lifeless. My eyes glistened and I reached out to it, reached out to the light. With the fire gone, the light was the only thing in there with me. I touched it. Touched the light. I had no clue what to expect.
I entered this dream state, my eyes transfixed toward the light of my screen: Christmas morning at grandparent’s house, the anticipation and curiosity that fueled it came back. Waking up, rushing out of bed, grabbing the largest present, ripping the wrapping vigorously, getting not the exact thing you wanted, but something much better. A warmth is felt throughout the entire tiny body of the child, looks back at grandpa. They share a smile that fills up the room, freezing time. The child’s feet lift the ground – right foot first, the left follows, the right once again, further, the left out-beating its distance. The grandpa is hit with a wave, a soothing, soft, warm cloth. The child hugs him as tightly as his premature muscles allow him to, his skin glows. Slowly rubs his head up his thigh, looks at his grandpa’s eyes that emitted pure affection. They glared for several seconds, the child falling into a beautiful and colorful void of memories, moments, soaring through the vastness, merely being able to observe. Red, purple, blue, the range of emotions and experiences lived – grandpa blinks. The child blinks. He’s back in the living room, out of the void. I blink, back in this flaming hallway, the light drifting away.
My mind got contaminated, thinking only of this light. I walked through the streets, the buildings, the halls, the desks, the light altered my vision. Blinking, blinking, blinking. After staring at the sun, you blink a few times and the light stain that fills your view slowly goes disappears, being able to step back into reality. This wasn’t the case, it isn’t the case. I keep blinking yet I can’t manage to get rid of this light. My surroundings, responsibilities turning into ash, the wind washing them away into the sky. There’s a heat I feel, but the fire was put out. It’s not burning me, it’s pleasant. The hallway fire burned me a lot. It was chaotic, unnatural – uncontrollable. I see the sky, it’s large… There’s a lot more than four long walls, it’s not more walls, but the absence of doors that makes it larger. Those walls had pressed me into this box that I am now, they had slowly started making the hallway wider as I grew with them. Now with them gone, I don’t know if I still feel like this box, or even a shape. Loose, malleable, warm. The light, it filled the sky. Did this light specifically try and save me, is it, why?
She was warm, emotionally and physically. Our legs gliding through the air without a parachute, flowing through the still winds in between the mountains. The view from up there is tough to put into words, the sky-high trees’ leaves all coming together in unison to create a giant portrait unable of recreation. Monet and the Impressionist artists of the late 19th century only wished to be able to capture that. My body was numb and cold, her fingers brushing streaks of heat through my back as if the sun, the light, was in her. The heat went inside my bones, creeped up through my spine, reached my neck, and into my brain sending signals into my chest, my mouth, a smile, a chuckle. Felt paralyzed, voiceless.
I entered this dream state. I think I’m still in here, stuck here, happy I’m stuck here. Walking down where the hallway used to be though I don’t see the dark and gloomy walls, I don’t see fire. There are endless doors scattered around with moss, flowers growing out of them. The sun is up, it’s warming me up. I’m not burning, I’m not cold, I’m not numb, I’m just slowly walking toward the sun. Blinking and blinking. It’s nice to see the sky.